I'm so confused
It's like im not in charge of my own body anymore
as if my soul died and my flesh is still wandering around this horrible planet
the person that means the most to me hates me now and nothing I say or do can sway that
I fucked up. But the funny part is I don't even know how or when.
All I know is everything I touch turns into a whirlwind of chaos
I'm back in Oregon again, not exactly where I want to be. But did I have a choice?
No. I never do.

Within one week I lost my job, my phone broke, I started cutting myself again, attempted suicide twice, got an eviction notice for my apartment, lost the love of my life for the second time, my laptop got busted, and my biological mom told me no one could ever love someone like me and put a knife to my throat.
The funny thing is I think she's right for once.
I just want to give up
And for all of this to end.
I'm tired of trying.
I can't do this anymore...