Its been awhile since I've posted.
And It has been on purpose.
You see, I wanted to get my life together before I came on here and talked about things.
But it seems to me that I should talk about it instead of hide it.
Well...
My Birthday was August 25th. I turned 19.
And I guess somewhere for some people between 18 and 19 is when Birthdays arent important until you hit 21.
Anyways I woke up miserable and depressed that day with a million other things on top of that swirling through my head. I was being a total downer and i honestly cant blame anyone for not wanting to talk to me.
The only positive thing that happened that day was my brother finding out the sex of his soon to be born baby boy.
Later my brother and I got into a fight because he thought I wasnt happy for him in all retro specked I was, just my depresssion drowned all the happiness I had.
After the arguement I was so upset that I attempted suicide. I swallwed about 125+ pills of various types. In the heat of the moment I wanted it all to be over. I sat in the bathroom crying waiting for the last breath to leave my body, when I couldnt remember my own name. it freaked me out so I call my adopted mother and told her everything. By the time the EMT's got there I already passed out. I woke up 3 1/2 days later in ICU. When my mom came to visit she told me that they almost lost me twice in the ambulence and once in the hospital.
I never want to make someone I love go throug that kindof pain ever again.
Now, I'm trying to stay positive. And I'm going to counseling. I refuse to let myself slipso far into a depression that I cant see the positive. And I thank my adopted parents for statying by my side and helping me through all of this.
God has a plan for me.
Jeremiah 29:11
