Today was a bitter sweet day.

The guy that I've been wanting to talk to for a month (adopted mom's co-worker)came to my moms work site to check on her. And when my mom went inside I finally got the courage to talk to him.
And the end result is he's taking me on a hike and then to the beach on his next day off. Which madebme really giddy like a little junior high girl.
It makes me happy that I'm getting my confidence and self esteem back.

The bitter side was my adopted moms aunt passed away today.
I didn't know her. I still hurt. Not because someone in the family passed but because everytime I see my adopted mom cry I feel my stomach flip and my heart ripping into pieces.

But in that torn heart I know everything will be okay. Cause I know God is with me.
And I have faith.
And I thank him for everything he has done for me.

I hope everyone has a good Monday tomorrow. ((:
Stay positive. ♡♥ (:

This week has been a hard week.

My adopted mom has been encouraging me to call my biological mom for a couple of weeks now, and finally on Thursday I did.The conversation started out okay. But then into turned into her yelling and screaming at me about how I never let her in my life. (even though she never tried to be) I told her how do you expect someone who was told for the past 18 years of her life to keep their distance from you and when you're diagnosed as terminal expect me to be at your'e every beckon.

I don't mean to be selfish, I'm honestly not trying to be. I just don't know how to be there for her when we rarely visit, rarely talk on the phone or face-to-face, and have literally nothing in common except the fact that I look like her. Am I being selfish?
I don't know.

Ever since then my emotions have been on this wild roller coaster of a nightmare.

But every roller coaster must come to an end eventually.
And today it did.
My adopted dad who never really talks to anyone about emotional stuff, sat on the phone with me for about half an hour and gave me some really good advice.

A few hours later some of the locals asked my mom if they could take me down the rapids rafting. It was a blast, they even invited me to dinner. I had so much fun and I think my prayers have been answered and I'm finally starting to make friends. Today was a great day.

To me this proves that no matter how bad of a day, week, month, year you are having this is a silver lining in it somewhere.
Weather that silver lining is big or small embrace it or you'll never get out of the funk you're in.

Stay Positive. (: